Fake Spiritualists

What do you call them, the spiritual community? The esoteric or mystical community? Cosmic enlightenment? Starseeds? Or just people who share an interest in spirituality, enlightenment or mysticism?

Either way, I’m into it all, but on my own terms. Their passionate narrative of love and light fails to mention that you must either enter the darkness, or at least have the ability to go dark, before you can reach that love and light. Many of these ….. what do you call them? Twenty or thirty years ago you’d call them new agers. Anyway, many of them seem to fall short at owning up to the negative parts of their philosophy. In other words, for many of them it’s all bollocks, only practiced at a shallow surface level, virtue signalling to show off how hippie and spiritual they are.

Me? No one can dig up my past to use it against me. I’ll tell you the whole fucking story myself. I’ve made peace with my dark chapters. Maybe certain people should do the same. In fact, maybe they should take notes. So I‘m not cleaning up any rumours someone’s heard about me. I don’t give a shit what they heard. Go hear it again. I’m too bone idle to explain myself. Life is far less complicated when I just let people misjudge me. I don’t give a shit about validating my character to people. If you need me to be a divine messenger in your narrative, cool. If you need me to be the rogue in your narrative, also cool.  

But so many so-called 'spiritual' people have never really been tested by life, never had a gun shoved in their face (with me it was a .25 automatic and I had to admit the bastard had definitely taken the upper hand) ...... and never been forced to go 'dark' (and probably wouldn’t know what that means). They just roll out phrases such as, ‘Most people wouldn’t survive the shit I went through,’ when all they did was miss the bus and have to walk home. Or here’s another one, ‘My darkness nearly took me with it,’ which is bollocks because they know nothing about darkness. They talk about ‘walking through madness or hell as if they own the place,’ which is great advice, but the fake spirituals would never be able to carry it off. Trust me, if these people ever had to walk on the dark side of the street they would NOT walk as if they owned the place. They would be blubbering their eyes out and treading very gingerly indeed.

Oh, I forget, they’re protected by an energy the world isn’t prepared to deal with.

Sure, they try and kid on they’ve been to hell and back – ‘I show so much love people forget I’m dangerous. I’m pretty chill as far as insane women go’ but in reality, they just had a shitty office job, and they’re about as far from insane as the taxonomy of Cornflakes.

They’re just re-born New Agers who like to think of themselves as ‘Gypsies’ because they slept on a mate’s couch for a few weeks, but who know nothing about life on the road and have probably never met a true Romani. They always pretend they’ve been through hell, when they clearly haven’t. They love listening to music that sounds like two dogs pissing in a tin can while trying to kid on to everyone who knows them that they’ve raised their Kundalini and their chakras are all aligned, that their energy is so beautiful that they’re convinced they’re carrying a supernatural awareness, knowing they’ve been called to raise the consciousness of the world ….. when they’re just charlatans, fooling no one with their 'all talk and no action' bullshit.

When you laugh at them, they get all offended, but why should you feel guilty for reacting to shit you should never have had to deal with in the first place? If they don’t want to be called out on their shit, then they shouldn’t be so fucking fake. I mean, seriously, some of them will say shit like, ‘I have an innate ability to feel other people’s frequency, but you can’t sense what I can because you’re on a lower frequency.’ And your answer to that is obviously, ‘Oh, fuck off! If you really were on a higher frequency, you’d know better than to talk shit about it.’

I once knew a guy called Rain Graywolf who told me never to believe anyone who tells me they’re a Shaman. The thing is, I always thought Rain was a Shaman.

Let’s face it, saying you’re spiritual is never going to make you a better person. If it’s done correctly, you’ll probably be someone who sounds like they’re speaking a different language to everyone else, and that, only that, is the true price of learning about your soul.

Also, you’ll find some of them kidding on ‘I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed,’ and you’re like, ‘No you’re not, you div, you’re just a keyboard warrior

Oh, and how do they know they’re vibrating a higher frequency than most other people? I’ll tell you; they took an online personality test.

Now there’s no denying that the right people for your soul show up differently, see you differently, hear you differently and support you differently. That’s how you know, but these fake spiritualists would fail to recognise them. 

I love people with depth, who speak with emotion and a twisted mind. People who prefer sand, saltwater and whisky under the stars rather than polite conversation in a garden. I love people with tattoos who want to live a little, and I love soul-shaking conversations. But I can't stand fake people.

The coolest people I’ve met have the most colourful pasts; they’ve made bad choice and they’re not afraid of being real. They tend to be somewhat emotionally unhinged and deficient in Karmic balance, but I kind of like that. My favourite shades of crazy.

Copyright © Karl Wiggins