Twelve Things You Don't Know About Me

Twelve things you probably don’t know about me and one of my pet peeves:

1) My 22nd great-grandmother was black (or brown) of Moorish descent. She apparently ‘had a dark complexion, black eyes, black hair, and a curvaceous figure that never ran to fat even in old age.’ My 19th great-grandmother has been called a witch, a whore, a she-devil, and an enchantress. Londoners threatened to drown my 23rd great-grandmother as a witch. My 27th great-grandmother, the wonderfully named Dangereuse, had the ‘gift’ and she may well have returned to the ancient beliefs herself, holding within her powers she had learned from the dark-skinned, lynx-eyed women of the Barbary Coast. My 30th great-grandfather beat the crap out of my 30th great-grandmother for refusing to marry him, and that soon changed her mind. And my great-great-great-great-grandfather, Jesse Wiggins, was hung for stealing a sheep. All of these are written in my blood. I can’t look into their eyes or hear their voices, but I honour their history and cherish their lives

2) I once spent a winter in a tent in a forest in France.

3) I once spent four days in a Spanish jail. So what? Well, they never fed me for three of those days! I was quite weak when bailed.

4) I once found myself staring down the barrel of a .25 automatic, which, as far as stating your point goes, can be quite effective. I must admit that this geezer had definitely taken control of the situation.

5) When I was working Watts, Compton and Inglewood I suffered PTSD, but I didn't know it at the time. Danger was such an everyday occurrence. I'm still ashamed of my actions, but it took me 40 years to understand the reasons behind it

6) Someone once tried to stab me in the face. That really pissed me off.

7) I once tried hitch-hiking across America with a Rottweiler. I didn’t get very far. I hadn’t thought it through properly.

8) I once spent a night with Bonnie Tyler. Not like that! But you know how you’re drawn to certain people immediately? Well, it was like that. We spent all night sitting at a bar, drinking, swapping stories, bullshitting, telling jokes, and then never saw each other again. Funny thing life, isn’t it?

9) I’ve walked 12’ barefoot on burning hot coals

10) I’ve fed 7’ Blue Sharks hand-to-mouth in the Pacific, just a mile or two off the coast of Catalina Island.

11) Dogshit once saved my life.

12) I once wrote my car off, plus several others, and then spent two days …. Well, the only way I can describe it is that I could feel the life force leaving my body. That’s how it felt to me. I just sat in a chair and felt my life force leaving me. Very quietly I fought it.

And my pet peeves:

I can’t stand thick people, and people who lack depth of character.

Thick people, I’m probably a bit cruel to, I tend to take the piss out of them. I try not to, but they’re just so fucking thick.

And people who lack depth of character are those who never seem to consider their lives. They are mechanical products of the factory of their environment. They don’t know what or why they are seeking. They’re little more than robots. Small minds, you see, can’t seem to comprehend critical thinkers or big spirits. Growth frightens them because they have no plans on changing themselves.

I’m okay with small talk – it’s the little things in life that are important (like the tying wire preventing the re-bar moving, which in turn prevents the concrete from cracking and half the building coming down) - but my favourite conversations consist of the depths of love and life, other dimensions, time travel, aliens, wisdom teachings, psychic phenomena, the Djinni and anything mystical and mysterious. I’m attracted to raw intelligence. Anyone can know shit from a book. I want to know what you know beyond the realm of society. We’ve got time. Let’s sit on the rooftop or the beach at 2 a.m. and you can introduce me to your mind. What keeps you up at night? What are your insecurities and fears?

My great love is people who have the most colourful pasts. People who aren't afraid of being real. We all need more weird hippie friends, people who charge their crystals under the moon, who live on that thin

line between all the answers and who love to talk about weird shit. My favourite shades of crazy.