ON AVOIDING DELHI-BELLY

Remember when we first started going to Spain and were told, 'Don't drink the water'?

Well, we've been to India twice, the last time was this year, and both times I had very little trouble with my tummy. The trick, you see, and there are those who'll argue with me but you're wrong, so don't fucking bother, the trick is to NOT eat healthy.

'Now wait a minute,' you say, 'A healthy diet such as fruits, vegetables, and whole grains will improve gut health by helping with digestion and feeding the good bacteria in your gut. It gives you immune tolerance and normal gut physiology. Exactly what you need when travelling India. Eat healthy and you won't get the shits'.

Oh, fuck off! You're wrong on just about every count.

You go in a restaurant and order a salad because you think it'll be healthy. But just how long do you think those tomatoes and lettuce and cucumber etc. have been sitting in the kitchen? Well? Fucking hours probably, with all manner of creatures and fleas and river insects and green fly and mozzies crawling all over them. They flick all the creatures off, slap it on your plate and bring it out to you.

Well, you're a dick!

If you want to avoid Delhi-belly then eat something that has to be cooked. Eat meat! It'll come straight out the fridge and into the frying pan (where the heat will keep the insects away) and from there onto your plate. Order chips as well.

Trust me, if you want to avoid the shits, drink beer and eat meat! 

Tip of the day from Karl

Copyright © Karl Wiggins