Immigration Should be Like a House Party

Immigration should be like a house party. Bring a gift, a bottle of wine perhaps, compliment the host on their lovely home, greet other guests politely and piss in the toilet, not around it, or in the lounge.

And don't try and demand the host run the party how the guests would in their own home. They're not in their own home. Don't take over the record player. Don't take over a corner of the garden, making it a no-go area for other guests. In no way try to change things to what they're used to. What they're used to is why the party's not at their house.

And when the house gets full, there’s no room for anyone else, otherwise no one’s going to enjoy the party. Say, ‘Sorry, dude, we’re full, and by the way I notice you haven’t bought a bottle. Well, too bad, because there’s none spare for you.’

Oh yeah .... and don't mess with the kids. That's a biggie. All the host's kids should be safe. They are strictly off limits. His wife is off limits too. Don't try groping her. If she says NO, or the kids say NO, they mean NO. Is that so hard to understand?

This is nothing whatsoever to do with anyone's skin colour or religion. It's just advice on being a guest in someone else's home.