Doctors

Okay, this was really funny

A few of us were out one night about 30 years ago or so, and there was a table of girls. And we all got chatting, because you were allowed to do that in those days. You didn't have to go through six months’ worth of texts and shit. We just talked and had the crack, hoping to get lucky.

One of them we nicknamed 'Night of the Living Dead.' But another we nicknamed 'Page 3' so that kind of made up for NoLD (well, as long as you didn't end up with NoLD, I suppose).

Anyway, we told the girls we were all doctors, recently qualified, and they were suitably impressed. We weren't really doctors, of course, we were just pissheads. And we said to these girls, 'You know when you go the doctor, and he always rubs your belly. Puts his hand on your tummy and feels about a bit.'

And they were like, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, he always does that.'

We said, 'And you don't mind if he touches you a little, because he's a doctor, right?'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah'

'Well we all do that. It doesn't tell us anything, but we do it to cop a feel. You know, see the girl's reaction. All doctors do that. See how far they can go.'  

The girls went fucking mad, even Night of the Living Dead, and that tells you something. 'Those dirty bastards! Is that true?'

'Yeah,' we said, 'All doctors have a go at that.'

'Right, next time one tries it on with me I'm going to slap him.' 'Yeah, I'm going to kick the dirty sod in the nuts!' and so on. They were really fucked off!