BOVAER

Everyone's panicking about Bovaer because Tesco's, Morrisons and Aldi are trialing it. When given to dairy cows it reduces methane in the atmosphere (stops them farting, in other words). But a study in Japan has found that it shrinks the testicles, decreases sperm count and decreases the motor activity of the sperm. 

Time to start buying your meat from local butchers. Or alternatively directly from farmers if possible. 

However just 1% seaweed added to a cows diet can reduce methane emissions by as much as 60%! And let's face, we're an island. Seaweed is easy to farm

The side effects, however are that no billionaires get even richer, no interference from Starmer, AND our fertility rate doesn't go down. 

Note: This won't affect those who eat only Halal meat as, for the most part, they purchase their meat from specialist meat shops or butchers, so they'll be able to keep having lots of kids. Only the British will be affected by having smaller families.

Copyright © Karl Wiggins